How to Enjoy a Life of Purpose and Meaning Without Children

It’s common for women without children to question their purpose and the meaning of life. I know I did. Once I realised I would become involuntarily childless, my forties became a time for grieving, healing, and a quest for meaning. I share more about my journey in my blog Coming to Terms with Being Involuntarily Childless. 

Now in my fifties, I feel so grateful to be blessed with living a joyful, fulfilling, and meaningful life. It’s not the life I dreamt of in terms of children yet it way exceeds my dreams in other ways.

It’s been an incredible journey, with many ups and downs, but worth every effort. As a life coach and healer, I’m aware I may have found this easier than others as I’ve had so many tools and resources available to help me through the process. That’s why I’ve written this blog – to share what helped me in case they help you create a life of purpose and meaning without children too.

Refreshing truth: You create the meaning you experience in life

It’s not what happens to us that determines how we feel but how we choose to respond to events, situations, and the circumstances we find ourselves in. This includes how you define the meaning and the extent to which you explore the many different ways to add meaning to your life. Yes, it does take time to do the deep inner work–to unpack the attachments you have to being (and not being) a mother, to grieve and redefine meaning. But it can be great fun too exploring what’s going to fill the void in your heart.

Refreshing truth: There are many ways to add meaning to your life

I used to believe the only true meaning of life is to procreate and at a species level that is obviously important. It’s not surprising so many of us feel this­–most stories we were told when we were younger support this. The cultures and societies we live in still prioritise families and parenthood. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to live a meaningful life. It just means we need to spend some time exploring other ways to feel a sense of meaning when we don’t have children.

Refreshing truth: A life without children can be joyful and liberating

Children may bring deep love, meaning, and joy. However, they also take up a lot of time, emotional resilience, money, and years of life. They can also sometimes cause hurt, upset, worry, and destruction. Whatever you focus on creates your reality.

Once you realise it’s easier to create a life of meaning by focussing on what you can control and influence (your thoughts, feelings, and actions) in response to being childless, plus the benefits of being in your situation it is liberating. Especially when you start to take steps to create a different future for yourself and FEEL better for doing so.

Creating a meaningful life without children

It’s easy for women who are unable to have children, to feel they are not good enough or as worthy as women who are mothers. This is nonsense.

The meaning of your life is based upon how you define meaning, and your desire to create a joyful life even if it’s different from what you’d envisioned.

You can either choose to focus on what’s missing or embark upon a new adventure. 

I know from personal experience and through conversations with many friends, that it’s possible to create a meaningful life without children. 

How do you do this? Check out these blogs:

• 7 Steps to Enjoying a Fulfilling & Meaningful Life

• Childlessness: How leaning into charitable activities helped me find meaning

If you’d like any help with this please do get in touch. 

With love,

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