How to Enjoy a Life of Purpose and Meaning Without Children

It’s common for women without children to question their purpose and the meaning of life. I know I did. Once I realised I would become involuntarily childless, my forties became a time for grieving, healing, and a quest for meaning. I share more about my journey in my blog Coming to Terms with Being Involuntarily Childless

Now in my fifties, I feel so grateful to be blessed with living a joyful, fulfilling, and meaningful life. It’s not the life I dreamt of in terms of children yet it way exceeds my dreams in other ways.

It’s been an incredible journey, with many ups and downs, but worth every effort. As a life coach and healer, I’m aware I may have found this easier than others as I’ve had so many tools and resources available to help me through the process. That’s why I’ve written this blog – to share what helped me in case they help you create a life of purpose and meaning without children too.

Refreshing truth: You create the meaning you experience in life

It’s not what happens to us that determines how we feel but how we choose to respond to events, situations, and the circumstances we find ourselves in. This includes how you define the meaning and the extent to which you explore the many different ways to add meaning to your life. Yes, it does take time to do the deep inner work–to unpack the attachments you have to being (and not being) a mother, to grieve and redefine meaning. But it can be great fun too exploring what’s going to fill the void in your heart.

Refreshing truth: There are many ways to add meaning to your life

I used to believe the only true meaning of life is to procreate and at a species level that is obviously important. It’s not surprising so many of us feel this­–most stories we were told when we were younger support this. The cultures and societies we live in still prioritise families and parenthood. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to live a meaningful life. It just means we need to spend some time exploring other ways to feel a sense of meaning when we don’t have children.

Refreshing truth: A life without children can be joyful and liberating

Children may bring deep love, meaning, and joy. However, they also take up a lot of time, emotional resilience, money, and years of life. They can also sometimes cause hurt, upset, worry, and destruction. Whatever you focus on creates your reality.

Once you realise it’s easier to create a life of meaning by focussing on what you can control and influence (your thoughts, feelings, and actions) in response to being childless, plus the benefits of being in your situation it is liberating. Especially when you start to take steps to create a different future for yourself and FEEL better for doing so.

Creating a meaningful life without children

It’s easy for women who are unable to have children, to feel they are not good enough or as worthy as women who are mothers. This is nonsense.

The meaning of your life is based upon how you define meaning, and your desire to create a joyful life even if it’s different from what you’d envisioned.

You can either choose to focus on what’s missing or embark upon a new adventure. 

I know from personal experience and through conversations with many friends, that it’s possible to create a meaningful life without children. 

How do you do this? Check out these blogs:

If you’d like any help with this please do get in touch. 

With love,

P.S.  Check out My Meaningful Life Course HERE. 

Often described as one of the most authentic and inspiring souls you can meet, Alisoun is on a mission to improve the lives of 100,000 people – by making it easier for women in their forties, fifties, and beyond to enjoy a happy meaningful life that lights up their heart and makes a difference in the world

Alisoun’s keynote talks, training, mentoring, and best-selling books  and Heartatude: The 9 Principles of Heart-Centered Success have favorably changed the good fortune of thousands of people worldwide. She loves doing humanitarian work, fundraising, and living by the beach in Scotland.

Alisoun is has written the following free resources:

  • Ebook: 52 Ways to Raise Funds for Charities and Social Causes Through Your Business (click here)
  • Ebook: How to Enjoy a Deeper Sense of Meaning in Your Life – coming soon.

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Comments (4)

  • The difficulty is almost every decision I have made since I turned about 13 has been all in preparation for starting a family now. So all my meaning as a 30 something and even later revolves around motherhood so without that, it’s extremely hard to find meaning and purpose. I am not a self-indulgent person. I don’t actually like spending money on myself. Anything I could spend it on to me feels like a waste of money. I don’t do pets and certainly don’t like people pretending they are children. I don’t do trips away, holidays. I also don’t earn so much that I can frivalously spend with no repercussions. Money I waste now, if I do have a child, I’ll want that money back. They aren’t cheap. I can justify saving for a family, a house. I can’t justify anything else at this point. Spending now affects me for life and everything adds up. You waste £30 here, £30 there and you’re wasting thousands per year. When motherhood is woven into your consciousness, you cannot erase this unless you change the person you are and I love who I am. I just don’t love that children are not yet a part of my life.

    • As a man I feel the same way. I like to save my money and live frugally while alone. My motivation to have a successful career and make good money stemmed largely from the desire to provide for a family. Still without the prospect of a family I am losing my drive..

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